As I write this post, I’m celebrating today the 51st anniversary of my baptism. I still remember the day well when my pastor baptized me, a new Christ-follower only one week old. The previous Sunday had been my first day in church in my life, and God drew me to Him that day.
Here’s what I’m thinking about today, though, as my heart increasingly breaks for so many churches in North America that are disconnected from and unburdened about non-believers around them: I’m remembering how little I knew about church the first time I made my way to that small church in southwestern Ohio. I think about that truth because I don’t want to assume that my non-believing friends today have any more “church” knowledge than I had back then in 1974. A friend had shared the gospel with me prior to my going to church, but I still knew nothing about the experience of “church.”
I suspect some of these memories may seem hard to believe to folks raised in church, but below are some things I just didn’t know when I went to church for the first time:
- I didn’t know what it meant to be in a Baptist church. I went to a Baptist church only because our neighbors who gave me a ride took me there. Imagine my surprise when I later learned that an ancient man named John apparently carried a title of “the Baptist,” too (?).
- I didn’t know where to sit when I followed the crowd into the room with “benches” (in my mind). I just followed my friends’ lead—and I was glad they sat in the back!
- I had never seen a hymnbook or sung a hymn. It felt like everyone else around me knew what they were doing, but I didn’t. I doubt it’s much different for folks today even though the music churches sing today is often quite different.
- I didn’t know who the man was who seemed to be in charge. People called him “brother” (which was itself confusing to me). His apparent title on the piece of paper someone gave me when I walked into the building was “Pastor”—but I’d never heard that word before, either.
- I wasn’t sure what to do when the man in charge said, “Greet one another with a hand of fellowship.” Seriously, I didn’t have a clue what any of that wording meant—and I surely wasn’t about to wander around like everybody else did saying “hi” to people I didn’t know.
- I had no idea what prayer was all about. All I could tell was that I suddenly was the only one looking around the room when everyone else knew they were supposed to tilt their heads forward. Then, somebody seemed to be talking to God.
- I didn’t have a Bible, and I wouldn’t have known how to use one if I did have one. Nothing about “John three sixteen” would have made sense to me. It felt like I was the only one in the room who didn’t have one of those books that everyone else seemed to be reading.
- I knew I wanted to talk to someone at the end of the service, but fear almost kept me from doing so. It was God’s marvelous grace that led me to talk to the man who was the “pastor.” The most miraculous thing that happened that day was that God grabbed the heart of this confused, out-of-place teenage boy and made me His child. I knew nothing about church, but God reached me in the midst of my church ignorance. One week later, that pastor baptized me.
Here’s my point: as I’ve been burdened about reaching lost people around me and have intentionally sought to build relationships with them, I’m reminded regularly that many of them are just as ignorant about church as I was way back then. They might be just as uncomfortable as I was the first time they come to church—and we need to keep that truth in mind as we seek to show them the way to Jesus and invite them to join us for worship.
Posted on August 28, 2025
Dr. Chuck Lawless is a leading expert in spiritual consultation, discipleship and mentoring. As a former pastor, he understands the challenges ministry presents and works with Church Answers to provide advice and counsel for church leaders.
More from Chuck
