How to Cultivate True Encouragement and Kindness as a Worship Leader

“Be Kind to Yourself”

Ministry workers are facing a discouragement epidemic. Those who lead their churches in praise are often left exhausted and downtrodden. Our culture tends to combat such discouragement with maxims such as “Be kind to yourself.” Is there a godly way to do this? While society means that we must accept ourselves and cut ourselves slack, Christian kindness requires self-reflection and reliance on God’s kindness to us.

As with kindness toward others, treating ourselves kindly requires honesty. We must invite God to “search” us and reveal areas in need of sanctification (Ps. 139:23–24). We need to take careful stock of our strengths and weaknesses. We may need to apply the principles of “not this” and “not yet” to ourselves.

We must evaluate our capabilities so we can practice effectively and lead excellently. This may mean learning music that stretches us. But it might also mean embracing practicality. I’ve found that what is most useful to my congregation is not necessarily virtuosity but attainability. This is good news for those who struggle to prepare new music week after week. The mark of useful worship is not the mind-boggling performances of leaders but the wholehearted participation of congregations. Don’t be afraid to repeat the simpler, familiar songs that your people sing well. Don’t pressure yourself to make every Sunday a novel, jaw-dropping experience unless it will build up your congregation—not just your self-esteem.

Treating ourselves with honesty also means welcoming feedback from trusted individuals such as team members, musicians in our congregations, and other staff members. I’ve found anonymous surveys helpful. During rehearsals, ask team members, “What did you hear?” or “What suggestions do you have?” instead of “Do you have any questions?” This fosters greater forthrightness because it assumes they have input and communicates that you want to hear it.

But what about encouragement? If you’re anything like me, you’re already aware of your deficiencies and would like to be cheered on now and then. We can look to the book of Numbers for refreshment. Amid strict requirements for right worship, God says to Aaron, “I give your priesthood as a gift, and any outsider who comes near shall be put to death” (Num. 18:7). The priesthood was a precious, protected privilege. God then tells Aaron that he and his sons will have no inheritance among the tribes of Israel. But if the priesthood is a gift, why are Aaron and his sons thus deprived? Because, God says, “I am your portion and your inheritance” (Num. 18:20). What greater portion could the priests receive? What is a parcel of land compared to an omnipotent, omnipresent God?

Let’s never forget that our vocation is an honor. Like the priesthood, leading worship is a weighty responsibility— a “yoke.” But it is also a unique blessing from the Lord. In his abundant kindness, God has entrusted us with the praise of his people. Even when our ministry feels like it takes more than it gives, the Lord himself is our inheritance: “Our shield and portion” forever.¹

Music, Usefulness, and Friendship

Outside of the church, joining a musical ensemble can be an excellent way to make friends. How much more so should congregational singing help us treat one another usefully and forge genuine friendships as Christians? Musical worship is an ideal medium for cultivating true kindness because it requires tuning, invites vulnerability, and instills courage.

Tuning

It is pure bliss when a choir ends a song with a perfectly balanced chord. Such cadences are sure to send shivers of delight down my spine. But such tuning does not just happen. It requires intense focus as singers align pitch, vowel shape, and tone. Like tuning, kindness requires careful observation and evaluation. We have to invest in our volunteers, taking the time to discern their strengths and weaknesses and to ensure that they are prepared to serve to the best of their abilities.

Such kindness extends beyond just musical preparedness. Leading worship often seems to be as much about balancing needs as it is about balancing chords. While it is probably not feasible to be deeply involved in the lives of everyone in our congregations, we should be aware of the situations of those on our teams. We need to pay attention to the perfectionist who needs a comforting word, the disruptive volunteer who needs tactful correction, or the lonely man who just needs a place to sing. Before we can meet the real needs of others, we must be attuned to them.

In his abundant kindness, God has entrusted us with the praise of his people.

Vulnerability

Music penetrates the depths of our souls, illuminating the dark crevices we would prefer to keep hidden. If we let it, music can convict us deeply, even painfully. While I’ve been intellectually moved by sermons, I have been most powerfully and painfully moved by music. And while I may take notes during an excellent message, a rousing hymn can bring tears to my eyes. Music invites a level of openness that is essential for a change of heart. The right song can crack us open and force us to reckon with what pours out without feeling browbeaten.

When I am wrestling with something, my brokenness often pours out in song more readily than speech. Similarly, people tend to be more comfortable expressing vulnerability in corporate singing than in day-to-day conversation. Musical worship creates a much-needed space to be honest with God, ourselves, and those beside us. It invites us to face our weaknesses and remember our dependence on our kind Savior.

Courage

I have an odd but effective antidote to anxiety: bagpipe music on full blast. Something about the astringent timbre of bagpipes invigorates my vaguely Scottish blood and prepares me for battle—or a busy workday. As anyone who has jogged on a treadmill without earbuds can attest, few things are as motivating as music. It gives us strength. There’s a reason the soundtrack of human history includes so many work and war songs—and worship songs can be both at once.

While we want to avoid emotional manipulation, our music should be motivating. Even as we allow space for honesty and vulnerability, we should want to send our people away encouraged—literally filled with courage. As worship leaders, we get to choose our people’s fight songs. We should include music that gets them fired up to “run with endurance the race that is set before us” (Heb. 12:1).

This article is adapted from Spirit-Filled Singing: Bearing Fruit as We Worship Together by Ryanne J. Molinari.

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